another moral hangover. fuck.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
