it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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