yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
