I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
