I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize