As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
