Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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