let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
