You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
