What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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