whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
