I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
