is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
