She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
