Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
