She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
