she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize