They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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