it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
