What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I got her a Nickelback box set.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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