so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
