Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
