Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
