honey bunches of taint.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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