We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
