So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
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