I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
