you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
