I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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