it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
