oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
My feet surprised me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
