well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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