That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
