No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Randomize
