Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
