I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
