Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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