Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
