Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
