Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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