how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
