What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Your penis caused this!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
