Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I forget how to act sober
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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