The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize