Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He better not be in your backpack
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
