i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
