So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize