I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
