Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
