I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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