My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
