Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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