Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
