My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
