I want you more than these girls want KFC
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
