The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
