normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
