That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
