i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
