Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
