butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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